MARRIAGE AND CONJUGALITY

Unhealthy marital relationship is a very trending phenomenon and I’ve not come up with this topic and make it public except that I have seen it being helpful to so many couples to strengthen their marital home and made some return to their spouses after several discords and divorce pronouncements, besides this topic brings about the reality of marital enjoyment .

Before we go further, it’s very necessary for us to know the two parties by which marital relationships are enjoyed upon, and they’re men & women. Although under the classification of genders, hermaphrodites (are those born with both male & female sexual organs) are also involved in marriage, however we’re focusing only on men and women under this topic.

Don’t be surprised, that there are lot of people in the society who do not or are yet to figure out who exactly they are in terms of sexual ability when it comes to conjugality. This is why you’ll see a man acting like a woman and woman acting like a man in behavior and in action which contradict the reality of marriage, some are like “I don’t think I’m fit for marriage, I’m sexually weak, or  I can’t really find one to marry me, I seem not to be a wife material, I’m really not normal, I can’t satisfy my wife, and what have you, I have a masculine structure, my wife does not have satisfying breasts, my hubby’s manhood is not big enough and what have you”. Also, some men are so naive that, they do not know how to go in with their wives, solve their sexual problems, likewise some women find it very difficult in going into their husbands, please them satisfactorily when it comes to sexual affairs. 

We cannot comprehend this phenomenon except will analyze who a man is and who a woman is anatomically. This will in shaa Allah, take us into talking about few anatomical studies and sexual arousing zones in both genders respectively. 

In Islam, marriage is described as a blessed contract between a man and a woman, in which each becomes “permitted” to the other, and they begin the long journey of life in a spirit of love, co-operation, harmony and tolerance, where each feels at ease with the other, and finds tranquility, contentment and comfort in the company of the other.

Coming to the word of Allah, in the holy Qur’aan. Marriage is explained as a relationship between men and women, which brings love, harmony, trust and compassion. Allah says: 

(And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts] . . . (Qur’aan 30:21) 

This is the strongest of bonds, in which Allah (subhaanahu wa ‘ta’aalaa) unites the two Muslim partners, who come together on the basis of love, understanding, co-operation and mutual advice, and establish a Muslim family in which children will live and grow up, and they will develop the good character and behaviour taught by Islam.

The Muslim family is the strongest component of a Muslim society when its members are productive and constructive, helping and encouraging one another to be good and righteous, and competing with one another in good works. 

The righteous woman is the pillar, cornerstone and foundation of the Muslim family. She is seen as the greatest joy in a man’s life, as the Prophet said: 

“This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this world is a righteous Woman.”

A righteous woman is the greatest blessing that Allah (subhaanahu wa ‘ta’aalaa) can give to a man, for with her he can find comfort and rest after the exhausting struggle of earning a living. With his wife, he can find incomparable tranquility and pleasure.

It’s quite unfortunately that a lot of couples, lovers are out there having little or no knowledge about what marriage entails, I mean the rudiments of marriage, this has led to the high rate of divorce, discords and cheatings. The rate at which many of the current matrimonial homes become crippled, crumpled and crashed is quite becoming a global concern. This is happening because majority of couples are ignorant or not ready to know the rudiments of marriage let alone to implement it appropriately and train the new couples to be oriented and prepared on how to solidify and strongly erect the pillars of their matrimonial homes from falling apart.

One of the major aspects or rudiments of marriage to be discussed on this platform is love making. 

Love is an endless source of joy – yet this mysterious emotion can affect us profoundly in many different ways. There is ecstasy through love and sexuality, however we must also acknowledge the frustration and heart wound cupid’s arrow can leave in its path.

Our experiences and expectations of an intimate relationship are always subjective, for how we perceive it and what we seek within it, is nothing but a mirror to our own particular vision, fantasies and needs. A couple may have entirely different agendas and views. Remember, there is the backdrop of religious, cultural and social factors, external voices that continue to influence us positively or negatively throughout our lives.